12 Brutal Relationship Truths Healthy Couples Accept
“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”
You aren’t going to be a lovable ray of sunshine every day and neither is your partner. Everybody has bad days and hard seasons in life, and you have to take the good with the bad.
Give your partner some space if they need it and recognize that the feelings of dislike are temporary — at least in most cases.
The global divorce rate is constantly rising. In fact, it has increased by over 250% since 1960. The country with the highest divorce rate is Luxembourg, where over 85% of marriages end in divorce.
The country with the lowest divorce rate is India, where only one percent of marriages end in divorce.
1. Fights are Inevitable
You could be soulmates who are connected on every level every time, but you’re still going to have disagreements. It’s the nature of being human.
A healthy amount of fighting is good for a relationship — it ideally results in conflict resolution, growth, and a closer bond.
However, if you use destructive tactics like name-calling, low-blows, bringing up past issues, and physical aggression, it can have the very opposite effect.
2. Your Partner will change, not always in a good way
You are not the same person you were a year ago. Whether you changed for the good or bad in subtle or obvious ways, you have definitely changed.
These changes become more obvious the longer you stay with a person. Where the person you are dating hardly resembles the person you first fell in love with.
Ideally, you and your significant other will grow together in the same direction, but sometimes the opposite happens, and partners no longer share the same worldview, life goals, or interests.
This has great potential to drive two people apart in the long run, and it’s not something that can be easily avoided.
3. Compromise is not Optional
When you are in a relationship, it’s not just about you anymore.
You aren’t going to get your way 100 percent of the time and neither is your significant other.
You probably aren’t going to always agree on which movie to see, where to go on vacation, which side of the bed to sleep on, or a million other things.
Give and take is essential in a relationship, so you better be ready to compromise.
4. The one’s who love you the most can also hurt you the most
The people who are closest to you, including your significant other, know the most about you.
This means they know what makes you happy, but they also know just how to push your buttons.
Insults from loved ones can cut deep because they know just how to do it. If you start with the low blows, you can expect your partner to lob them right back and it could get hideous, very fast.
5. Love does not erase temptation
In an ideal world, you would only have eyes for your partner, but sometimes simple biology gets in the way of this.
You’re likely still going to be attracted to other people even if you love your significant other very much.
Love does not erase temptation, but hopefully, it will keep you from acting on it.
6. You might stay in a bad relationship far too long because it's comfortable
You might have been there before — some of you more than once.
Your relationship has fallen off, the spark is gone, you’re barely communicating, but you’re still sleeping next to this person every night.
Why? It’s comfortable.
At least you know what you’re dealing with in this relationship and do you really want to put the effort in to start all over with someone new? Other people don’t want to admit defeat and instead will keep up with appearances while sacrificing their personal happiness.
But ultimately you are doing a disservice to yourself.
7. All the red flags you initially ignore only become a bigger problem later on
Yes, love is blind and the initial infatuation we may have for someone will often cause us to overlook all the red flags we can so easily identify in our friends’ significant others.
But these issues never go away and in fact, will become even bigger problems the longer you try to sweep them under the rug.
8. Relationships are hard work
I know you’ve heard this before, but it’s still something that not enough people pay proper attention to.
As with anything, the results you get are directly proportional to the work you put into it. Some of this work involves assessing your own behaviors and determining how you can be a better partner and following through, but there’s a lot more to it than that.
If you find that your significant other isn’t worthy of the time and effort it takes to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s time to reassess.
Not being willing to put in the work is one of many reasons why people don’t find love.
9. You will never find the perfect person for you.
Now some of you may want to argue this point.
You may think you have found the absolute perfect person for you, but that would mean that there is literally nothing big or small you would change about them. And nothing that they do that irritates or annoys you.
Now I ask you. Can you honestly say that?
All people are flawed. You just have to determine if the flaws of your significant other are ones you are prepared to deal with in the long term.
10. Love isn’t enough
Despite what hundreds or even thousands of love songs might tell you, simply being in love is not enough to sustain a healthy, long-term relationship. You need other elements as well.
This includes trust, respect, understanding, communication, honesty, and friendship.
There are also all of the logistical aspects of relationships that involve things like paying bills, potentially raising children, and determining where to live.
These factors can affect whether a relationship survives.
11. You cannot rely on a relationship for happiness
If you’re looking for happiness in another person, you’re not going to find it.
Find happiness within yourself without relying on someone else to be the source of happiness.
That puts an unfair burden on your partner, and it’s much more likely that your unhappiness would bring them down to the point where you are both unhappy.
12. You will get your heartbroken
You will, at one point or another, get your heartbroken. This is a truth for the 99% of us who do not end up staying with our first love forever.
Most relationships ultimately don’t work out and end in either a break-up or a divorce. Sometimes, a break-up can be the best thing that ever happened to you, but it’s hard to recognize that when the heartbreak is fresh.
But if you approach it with the right perspective, a broken heart can teach you lessons and help you grow and will eventually help lead you to the person right for you.
And that wraps up our list, I wish you all the best in life and love, but keep these brutal truths in mind when getting involved in any relationship.
And now that we’ve reached the end of our list: do you have any brutal truths of your own you would like to add to the list? Let me know in the comments.
Thanks for reading, hope it was helpful.